34th Sunday in Ordinary Time, November 21, 2004

3) 34th Sunday in Ordinary Time, November 21, 2004

Monday, November 15, 2004. Today in the afternoon I registered at CTU for Spring Semester (4 courses) and J-Term in January (1 course). I became realize that studying at the USA cost a lot of money. One course for semester system at CTU costs almost $ 1,500. Since I had known the expense of my study in philosophy and theology in Jakarta, Indonesia was so much cheaper than here in the USA. Probably, one or two course here in the USA can cover my philosophy and theology study for four years in Jakarta. Maybe I couldn’t compare it because they are different standard of life between Rupiah and Dollar, but I just wondered and counted them and it draws me to my reflection question: how do I use this privilege facility for myself and ministry to others optimally? It entails me to concern and to be serious in my study and I have duty to be grateful of this gratuitous grace and to do this formation study properly.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004. In the morning I hosted my theological reflection group in the Xaverian House and this time my classmate, an Alexian Brothers from the Philippines named Zig shared his experience of his ministry. Next week we will have this class at the Claretian House and I will share my ministry experience at David Darst Spirituality Center. Here it is what I am going to share next Tuesday:

Background
My ministry site is at Brother David Darst Center for Justice and Peace Spirituality and Education (DDS), which is located on 2834 South Normal, Chicago-Illinois 60616, close to Chinatown Chicago. The Center is a four-story brick building with neighborhood is middle class with an increased number of Chinese living there. The building was formerly a Sister’s convent located in the All Saints-St. Anthony parish, which is located on the same ground. The Center has been set up to accommodate up to 18 retreatans sharing two people to a room using bunk beds. It can also accommodate two retreat moderators as well as a live in staff of 3-4 retreat leaders.
The Center’s staff conducts immersion retreats in Chicago’s inner city for high school juniors and seniors and college students. Most of the retreats are conducted on weekends from Friday evening to Sunday mid-afternoon. A few full week retreats are given for college students on fall and spring breaks. Students visit and volunteer in a number of sites: homeless shelters, public schools, day care centers, soup kitchens, and the Greater Chicago Food Depository. The staff and students process the day’s activities in a group discussion as well as delve into justice and peace issues concerning the sites they visited, i.e., why there are homeless shelters and soup kitchens in the USA, the richest country in the world. The retreatans themselves plan and conduct morning and evening prayer.
Ministry interns would help plan, conduct and evaluate retreats. They would accompany retreatans to volunteer sites, lead process discussion groups, and supervise the planning and execution of prayer by the retreatans as well as help the activities necessary for house maintenance. When retreatans are not scheduled the intern could contact and visit new sites, work on the newsletter and website and research justice topics such as poverty, homelessness and peace.

Description
On last weekends 12-14 November 2004, there was a retreat program at DDS and I stayed there since Friday evening to Sunday noon. The group who had this retreat came from the youth Lutheran Church in a city of Indiana State, about three hours away from Chicago. There were 14 High School students and five older caretakers with them, so totally there were 19 guests. All of them are the Caucasians. The staffs of this retreat were my supervisor (Sister Paula), Gayle and myself. I was wondering and questioning myself, “Where are the two other volunteers?” I asked to my supervisor and she replied that one has gone and the other is going to Minnesota. As I met my supervisor and Gayle, I said, “Both of you worked hard to prepare this retreat; I’m sorry if I couldn’t help for the preparation.” The opportunity to come to the ministry site is during the weekend when there is a retreat and if there is no retreat, so far I do not go there. My supervisor told me in the beginning that my schedule is very flexible, depending on the schedule of the retreat house and my study at CTU. So far, I have invested enough amount of hours as the requirement 8-hour a week for this ministry.
On Saturday night, while the group of the retreatans was going to Navy Pier for their recreation time and the supervisor went home, Gayle approached me and asked, “What do you think about this retreat and what do you think about Sister Paula?” I answered them honestly what I have experienced and felt so far in positive and negative point of view and apparently she has the same opinion with me. Evidently, she told me many things what’s going on with the other staffs who left the DDS. Listening to her grievance, I just tried to give her courage and support to endure this difficult situation patiently. I implored my concern about her and told her about one passage of John Gospel 6:67-68, “Jesus asked the twelve, ‘Do you also wish to go away?’ Simon Peter answered him, ‘Lord, to whom can we go? You have the words of eternal life” I supported and encouraged her to endure this crisis moment patiently despite many difficulties in this retreat house. I hoped to her that she would be volunteering to this ministry till her previous planning, the August next year.
On Sunday morning, all of us went to Saint Basil Catholic Church to have a Mass. The Mass was started at 10 a.m. with bilingual Mass and liturgy both in English and Spanish and the assembly were mostly African-American and Latinos people. On the Saturday night Gayle said to the retreatans that they could take communion in the Mass. My reaction at that time was wondering and questioning myself, “Isn’t there a rule that the one who can take communion in the Catholic Mass only one who was baptized and has received the first communion in the Catholic Church?” Since I did not have a task to give instruction and lead the retreat, I just kept silent. I paid attention to the retreatans who took the communion and most of them received with wrong manner of their hands. I was wondering also, how come the priest did not know that they are not Catholic. Then I thought most likely in the conversation with the priest before we attended the Mass, the supervisor did not tell the priest that the retreatans are from Lutheran Church and the priest conceived easily that they are Catholic because we came with a nun, the supervisor. I have willingness to discuss about this case next time when I meet Gayle and Sister Paula.

Analysis
Experiencing the weekend retreat with a lot of different things such as language, ethnicity, culture, background, religion, etc., is a unique gift to me. It is still a struggle for me to be able to communicate effectively with all people in the retreat house because I feel that I am the only Asian among them and not a native speaker. I have tried to make adjustment to understand and to be understood by them when I talk and do something. I know that I have an introvert personality (such a quiet and shy person) so I have to be active and creative to create communication with them. The other thing is that I do not have a specific job to say something in the retreat like the supervisor and Gayle were doing. Practically, I was just an observer of the retreat and to be member of the retreatans. As a person I have a compromise type, so I just do what I can do at this retreat such as helping the supervisor and Gayle preparing breakfast and supper and doing whatever my supervisor asked me. I was trying to be present in all of the sessions and group discussions and field visit to some places and to do service there. Considering this situation, no wonder when there was an improper thing happened at this retreat such as the Lutheran retreatans who received communion at the Catholic Mass, I just kept silent. Maybe I am wrong about this, but it was happened in my weekend retreat.

Evaluation
If I evaluate myself, I can say that I need to improve my participation and creativity to communicate to the supervisor and other staffs, and also to the retreatans, not to wait until they ask me to do or say something. I feel that I am passive and so powerless and meaningless.

Theological Reflection
Seeing myself in this ministry, I identify myself with Jesus’ Word (Luke 17:10), “We are worthless slaves; we have done only what we ought to have done.” It does not mean that I have to be passive waiting for the supervisor’s instruction but to be active and creative to involve in the retreat program.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004. In the morning I typed my paper of Sacraments II, Annotated Bibliography II then went to the CTU to have this class at 1 to 2.15 p.m. At night I was reading some articles of Interreligious Dialogue for this class next week on Tuesday and trying to evolve my last paper which is due on December 7.

Thursday, November 18, 2004. This morning I attended my spirituality class in which some four students gave their presentation and I have a chance to do it on December 9, about the Conversion of Saint Augustine. In the afternoon I cooked for my community with menu: sour and spicy fish soup (pindang) and vegetable salad with peanut sauce dressing (pecel). What I can learn of our community meeting this evening is: The mystery of our life is not a problem to be solved but a reality to be experienced.

Friday, November 19, 2004. In the morning I went to Saint Therese Church to have spiritual direction with Father Michael, SX then at noon I joined Petrus and Dharmawan to give some games to some 17 kids of the Saint Therese school’s seventh graders; they looked enjoy the games held in the basement of the church.

Saturday, November 20, 2004. Today is the birthday of Petrus (30); in the evening we celebrated his birthday in a special way, namely, by CTA bus number 6 we went to John Hancock Tower since he never went up there (a café in the 96th floor). We were altogether with Dharmawan, Ignas, Alejandro and Father Edi (never went up to this tower as well) then we called it as ‘fellowship’ to see Chicago by night. While we’re drinking at this high-dark-fancy place, some girls (who celebrated a singleness of one of them before marriage) approached us asking in favor sing a song, then Petrus and Ignas sang ‘Kemesraan.’ We continued savor our beautiful night with Ghirardeli ice cream and arrived home at midnight. I guess it’s the last birthday of Petrus in the USA, so we celebrated with a special way. At home I still had time to iron my clothes in 30 minutes.

Sunday, November 21, 2004. In the morning all of us went to Saint Therese Church Chinatown to celebrate Mass of institution of lector (Chuy and I) and acolyte (Alexandro and Jacques) presided by Father Rocco and three other Xaverian priests, Michael, Aniello and Victor. It’s a quite simple ceremonial rite that as candidate of ordained ministry, we should endure these steps. There are 4-step as Father Rocco mentioned, namely, institution of lector (reader), acolyte, diaconate ordination and priesthood ordination. We continued our celebration with hospitality and lunch prepared lovingly by Father Michael, the pastor of the parish. We thank to all people who witness and support us as we continue our journey toward missionary priesthood in the Xaverians. As Father Geremia, the rector of the Xaverian philosophy house in Jakarta-Indonesia asked me to translate of the Xaverian International Theology in Chicago from English to Indonesian, I was trying to follow up this request as soon as possible.


3) Hari Minggu Biasa ke-34, 21 November 2004

Senin, 15 November 2004. Sore hari ini saya mendaftarkan diri untuk matakuliah yang akan saya ambil di semester mendatang, untuk semester musim semi (4 matakuliah) dan January term (1 matakuliah). Saya menjadi sadar bahwa studi di USA butuh biaya banyak. Bayangkan saja satu matakuliah di CTU tempat kuliah teologi saya hampir 1500 dollar. Karena saya mengetahui biaya kuliah filsafat dan teologi di Jakarta, Indonesia sungguh jauh lebih murah dibandingkan di USA ini. Kemungkinan, satu atau dua harga dua mataukuliah di USA ini bisa menutup seluruh biaya studi saya filsafat dan teologi di Jakarta selama empat tahun lulus S-1. Kemungkinan pula saya tidak bisa membandingkan begitu saja karena standar hidup di kedua tempat jauh berbeda, antara dollar dan rupiah, namun saya hanya heran saja dan mencoba menghitung-hitung serta membandingkannya dan ini mengajak saya untuk berpikir dan berrefleksi dalam pertanyaan: bagaimana saya menggunakan fasilitas dan kemudahan ini bagi diri saya sendiri dan sesama dalam kerasulan saya kini dan masa depan secara optimal? Ini menuntut saya untuk penuh perhatian dan serius dalam studi dan saya memiliki tugas untuk senantiasa bersyukur akan rahmat yang sungguh-sungguh berkat tersendiri dan menjalankan tahap pembinaan dan studi ini dengan sepantasnya.

Selasa, 16 November 2004. Pagi hari saya menjadi tuan rumah untuk kuliah refleksi teologi dari kelompok saya yang diadakan di rumah Xaverian dan kali ini teman kami, seorang bruder dari tarekat Alexian asal Philippina bernama Zig memberikan sharing pengalaman kerasulannya dan minggu depan hari Selasa giliran saya memberikan sharing pengalaman yang juga saya sharingkan di sini (lihat di versi English di atas).

Rabu, 17 November 2004. Pagi hari saya mengetik tugas paper saya untuk Sakramen II yaitu Anotasi Bibliografi kedua lalu pergi ke CTU untuk ikut kuliah ini. Malam harinya saya membaca artikel untuk kuliah dialog antaragama untuk kuliah Selasa minggu depan serta mencoba menyusun paper terakhir saya untuk kuliah ini yang harus dikumpulkan 7 Desember lewat email.

Kamis, 18 November 2004. Pagi ini saya mengikuti kuliah spiritualitas di mana keempat teman sekelas memberikan presentasi mereka dan saya mendapat giliran tanggal 9 Desember mengenai pertobatan Santo Agustinus. Sore hari saya memasak untuk komunitas, kali ini saya masak pindang ikan karena kebetulan ada ikan serta bumbu pindang instant Indofood serta pecel. Apa yang saya dapat tarik dalam kesimpulan untuk rapat komunitas malam ini adalah: Misteri dalam hidup kita ini bukanlah suatu masalah yang harus kita selesaikan namun merupakan suatu kenyataan yang harus kita alami (sendiri, mau nggak mau, kali yah?).

Jumat, 19 November 2004. Pagi hari ini saya pergi ke paroki Saint Therese untuk bimbingan rohani dengan Pastor Michael lalu siang harinya saya ikut melihat dan berpartisipasi dalam permainan yang diberikan oleh Petrus dan Dharmawan untuk anak-anak SD kelas 7 Sekolah Saint Therese. Anak-anak nampak semangat dan gembira dengan pendampingan dan permainan yang diberikan kedua frater kita ini di basement gereja Saint Therese.

Sabtu, 20 November 2004. Hari ini adalah hari ulang tahun Frater Petrus Hardiyanto (genap berusia 30 tahun); di petang hari kami merayakan ultahnya ini dengan acara khusus, yaitu dengan naik bis CTA no. 6 kami pergi ke gedung tertinggi kedua di Chicago yaitu John Hancock Tower karena memang dia belum pernah sampai ke gedung tinggi ini meskipun sudah hidup di Chicago hampir lima tahun; kami ngantri cukup panjang dan memakan waktu untuk bisa mencapai sebuah café di lantai 96. Kami bersama semuanya adalah Dharmawan, Ignas, Alejandro, dan Romo Edi (yang satu ini juga katanya belum pernah ke menara ini) dan kami memberikan judul acara ini ‘fellowship’ untuk melihat dan menikmati keindahan kota Chicago di malam hari. Sementara kami menikmati minuman kami di sebuah café yang cukup lux, gelap dan di tempat tinggi, sekelompok kaum wanita muda mendekati meja kami dan meminta agar kami bernyanyi untuk salah seorang dari mereka yang merayakan malam terakhir masa single-nya sebelum menikah, maka Petrus dan Ignas menyanyikan lagu berjudul ‘Kemesraan’. Kami melanjutkan rahmat malam yang indah ini dengan ice cream Ghirardeli lalu sampai rumah sudah di tengah malam. Di rumah saya masih sempat menyetrika baju selama setengah jam.

Minggu, 21 November 2004. Di pagi hari kami semua kecuali Pastor Pascal, pergi ke gereja Santa Theresia di Chinatown untuk merayakan misa pelantikan lektor (Chuy dan saya) dan akolit (Alejandro dan Jacques) yang dipimpin oleh Pastor Rocco, sx rektor kami bersama tiga pastor SX lain (Michael, Aniello dan Victor B). Misa khusus untuk pelantikan yang bertepatan dengan akhir tahun liturgi tahun C dan Pesta Hari Kristus Raja ini cukup singkat dan sederhana; sebagai calon pelayan tertahbis kami harus menjalani tahap-tahap ini. Ada empat langkah sebagaimana Pastor Rocco menjelaskan dalam khotbahnya, yaitu pelantikan lektor, akolit, tahbisan diakon dan tahbisan imamat. Kami melanjutkan perayaan ini dengan acara ramah tamah dan makan siang yang dipersiapkan oleh Pastor Michael (pastor kepala paroki) dengan penuh perhatian dan kasih. Kami berterima kasih pada semua umat dan sama saudara yang telah menyaksikan dan mendukung langkah yang telah kami ambil menuju imamat misioner di Serikat Misionaris Xaverian.

Sebagaimana Pastor Geremia, rektor Wisma Xaverian di Jakarta-Indonesia meminta saya untuk menerjemahkan beberapa lembar halaman tentang deskripsi teologi internasional Xaverian di Chicago dari bahasa Inggris ke Indonesia, saya bergegas berusaha memenuhi permintaan ini. Saya tidak menjumpai buku tapi rektor saya memberikan disket berisi deskripsi ini, sesuai yang dia kirim ke Roma.